Rollerskating in a china shop accidentally on purpose

A sign reading "Absolutely No Heeleys" on the door of the Big Lots store in Dunmore, Pennsylvania
A sign reading “Absolutely No Heeleys” on the door of the Big Lots store in Dunmore, Pennsylvania

For those who haven’t been slammed into by a kid on “Heelys” yet, and haven’t learned about what they are… They’re half rollerskate half sneaker shoes, a fashion trend, where kids wearing them can roll around everywhere on wheels in their heels. They look like shoes, so you may have no warning that the kid is going to start wheeling about around you.

I noticed the huge blatant sign on the door of the Big Lots store today, prohibiting heelys, and I’m actually surprised a sign like this isn’t hung in more places. Like the grocery store, for example.
They’re not just dangerous for reckless kids wearing them, but anyone around them. Nothing like awkward uncoordinated pre-teens with burgeoning hormones, hopped up on soda, or heaven knows what, rolling haphazardly around shopping carts, store displays, & elderly women.
I suppose the sign on the Big Lots store is an indication that they’ve had an incident there involving ‘heelys’, if you subscribe to “It must’ve happened once”.
The most asinine place I’ve seen kids on ‘heelys’ was a few months ago, when some little girls from a church group were at the Just Paint It ceramic pottery painting studio in Clarks Summit, PA, scooting around in the small room between the painting tables. Yep, not only was one girl whizzing around people trying to paint breakable items, but the girl let her friend try them on for the first time, and they probably weren’t even her correct size. There were a couple of falls, naturally, and it was just dumb luck nothing was broken, be it bone or ceramic.

‘Heelys’: Danger Mixes With Fun, Head Injuries Possible From Use Of Popular Sneaker-Roller Skate Combo – CBS News
Brzezinski spoke with Valerie Poston of San Diego, whose nine-year-old daughter, Katrina, suffered a concussion when she lost her balance wearing Heelys at a mall.
“It just didn’t dawn on me that they were so dangerous,” Valerie told Brzezinski, adding she never thought twice about letting her girls wear Heelys.

I don’t get this, I really don’t. I would think it should be obvious that rollerskating, without protective gear, in a confined area full of moving obstacles, would involve risk. And it is rollerskating. The shoes have wheels and the kid wearing them is rolling. Furthermore, I find shopping malls to be somewhat hazardous in sturdy sensible orthopedic shoes. You really ought to have combat boots during the holiday season.

Beyond the dangers of physical injury to themselves & others because of mishaps… I wonder about the orthopedics of these shoes.
I took figure skating lessons in the past, and my sister is an amateur adult competition figure skater, so I know very well that there are proper postures and positions for ice skating on figure skates. Those positions, I believe, apply also to ice hockey skates, rollerskates, rollerblades, inline skates, etc. And unlike ice skates & rollerskates, ‘heelys’ only have wheels in the heel, which would make it impossible to roll in proper form.
So I can’t help thinking that frequently wheeling around on heels would constantly force a growing body into odd postures, and might have some detrimental effect on the physiology somehow.

I’m not trying to single out ‘heelys’ as uniquely dangerous or bad, or more detrimental than drug addiction, or anything like that.
According to my physical therapist friend, ideally, we should all be wearing orthopedic shoes regularly. So of course things running around on pavement & tile all day on high heels is bad for your body, and the sport of ice skating can be risky. But in the proper setting, in sensible circumstances, or in moderation, those detriments can be mitigated.
What makes ‘heelys’ unique is that they’re specifically designed, made, and marketed for kids to slyly wear wheels when & where they shouldn’t be rollerskating.

But mostly, I just find it bloody annoying to have to dodge these kids for my own safety. It’s bad enough when unsupervised children accidentally ram shopping carts into me at the grocery store. Call me stodgy, but I just don’t see the point to adding unnecessary hazards to shopping, what’s to me, an already annoying errand.